Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My personality??

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.

You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules.

Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.

You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller!

In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart.

You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts.

At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do.

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding

When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

Teens Suck, inside version

Do I look like a slave? Have I in any way made you think I was subservient? Do I seem as if I enjoy being ordered around?

My little twerp of a 17 year old is peeved at me(what's new?)because he mentioned at 10:30P.M., right after I picked him up at his GF's house, that he has 2 baseball games tommorow. He just got his cast off today. The doctor said don't jump into pitching, work it in slowly. Not to mention the kid never thanked me for any of the other specific things I did for him today.

Yet I'm supposed to get up at 6:30 A.M. and drive him to God knows where so he can play baseball with a team that has treated him like shit, with his unstretched and therefore vulnerable tendons and muscles? Oh and I'd have to blow off school to do it. My career and education are totally unimportant to the spoiled brat that is my son.

Argh. He just tried to go out w/o asking again. Dude! I am the mother and if you continue to disrespect me I'm turning off your phone, ya hear? After that it'll be the internet.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Yeeps! My Blog Got An Award

Tena from My Therapy one of my two readers on this wacky blog, gave me a this lovely award. Thanks Tena! Tena's the mother of four kids, trapped in a middle-upper class 'hood where the Gap Mothers reign. YURK! Gap Mothers are not real. They never have spots on their impeccable clothes (more like Nordstrom Mothers to me) and in their insanely huge SUVs which guzzle $4.50 a gallon gas like the moms guzzle mojitos every night before dinner. You know the type~they seem all perfect and their kids are perfect and no one ever crosses that human Mom line. HA! Pseudomothers. Cuz us real moms love t-shirts 'n' sweats and darn if my pedicure doesn't need updating feet. :P

Tena a real mom stuck on the Twilight Zone. Send the woman props for surviving!!!
(swells of applause)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Where's my rain? Why live in Seattle if it never rains? Might as well be back in LA. No, no no. Cannot live with the plastic people again. 10 years was plenty. Fake hair, fake boobs, popularity rated on looks. How you look. How your house looks. How expensive your car is and how it looks. How your kids look. Blah blah blah. Orange County is for wannabes.

I might miss my beaches and the ocean but I don't miss Cali.

Even the midwest cools down once in awhile in July. Give me a thunderstorm as long as it rains.

Rain~wet, cool, lovely rain. Come home my clouds. Come home.

Monday, July 14, 2008

What brain?

My pal from nutrition class could not remeber her basic anatomy tonight at lecture. We're going over proteins and how important the liver is in this process and she had forgotten that the bile duct and the pancreatic duct kind of merge into the small intestine at a juncture. Basic stuff. It's way cool to read all this complex amino acid and essential enzymes and understand what they are for and how they work. I did learn in A&P. I've retained quite a bit. Cool. I love being a jump up on most. The chemistry I learned last summer is coming in handy as well. All the prep classes are melding together to make my comprehension high.

It makes me feel smart but also impatient. I felt like telling my pal to get out the anatomy book and review the basics otherwise pharmacology is gonna kill her. She hasn't taken chem or the 200 series in anatomy either.

The rest of my brain is rotting from excessive heat and teenager input.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Very Little

There's very little going on in my brain except static. You know~the stuff I learned today on math class, various nutrition facts, what's due Monday, telling myself I am not hungry cuz I'm not....

I'm not concentrating on any one thing well. It's a mish mash. Since I've gone back to college I've found it hard to concentrate on any books unrelated to my classes even when I'm off school. I used to read 3-6 books a week, now........maybe 6 a year.

I guess because my brain is older it can only deal with so much information and pushes extraneous stuff out. That's not including long term memory. Most of my LTM in intact.

I'm boring today.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I'm already tired of negative campaign ads and there's months left. ARGH. I may need to turn off my tv or commit hari-kari to survive. If I never saw another political ad it would be too soon.

Is Jesse Jackson a moron or what? Why is one powerful black man saying things to bring down another powerful black man? Jealousy. Cuz Jesse never got this close to being president. I don't care why, I do not want to know whose nuts Jackson wants to cut off. EVER!

Is A-Rod one of the stupidest and most arrogant jerk on earth? Imbecile. Flaunt Madonna and kabbalah in your wife's face...what did you think dude she'd sit there and let you make a fool out of her. 3 months after giving birth to your second child. A-Rod you are pathetic and I'm so glad you left Seattle when ya did. If you were my husband I would do a Bobbitt with a dull fork on you. For shore.

New sex symbols~Olympic athletes with washboard stomachs and fast fast times. Male for me. Oh la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Michael Phelps can swim in my pool any day as long as he never speaks a word. I just like the way he looks not what he has to say. Swim like a shark baby and set more world records. That's what I like in a man.


I am lazy. Already tired of summer school. Not too thrilled with temps in the 80's either but I am a heat weenie.

I am tired lately. I will have them take blood tests at my annual appt in 2 weeks. More tired than normal. I need a titer for vaccines for nursing school anyhoo.

Monday, July 7, 2008

My World Feels Wobbly Today

My 40 yo pal breast cancer spread to her liver. She had a MRI of her head and I pray it hasn't spread further. She is years younger then me. Why does this happen to the best people? It makes no sense. I had stopped asking why after Brennan and our super rare mitochondrial metabolic something is wrong in one codon of one enzyme of DNA. Cuz stuff like that just doesn't happen every day.

But part of my raised Catholic self felt maybe I did something in my life to cause Brennan's death. I know it's bullshit but Catholic guilt is rooted very deeply. The God I was taught about as a child was vengeful God. I don't know why all the stuff with Brennie happened I just fear that was my hell on earth.

The one person I could count on for the past 15 years is history. She's too busy with her job, her disabled son, her son home from college-all of which I get. Then there's the guy she met on e-harmony. I don't get him. Since he showed up our friend ship has been slipping away. Poor pitiful Janice has no one she can count on in an emergency in the state of Washington or California where my family who can't be bother to keep in touch lives can be depended on either. We don't know each other as adults. My dad's a flaky alcoholic who remarried and who I haven't seen in over 11 years. My older bro calls once a year if I'm licky and he might come if I called and was desperate. My younger Hollywierd bro married to the screenpaly writer/director/producer and they have a 7 yo daughter and I have not met anyone but my brother. You know the one I used to drive to practice and school and junior high dates. Youngest bro getting married in August. 2 days after finals. In Palm Springs. I'd needs airfare, hotel money, an outfit and money to eat etc. Not in the budget. It's a formal Filopinia wedding and quite procey even for guests.

So nice the family I grew up with doesn't miss me at all since my mom died. Yeah, I'm a little bitter. There's a longer story here I don't want to write.

If my spouse went crazy and wanted to kill me I'd have no where to run to. Good thing he is not a violent man.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Marriage Isn't For The Faint of Heart

I was tired today. Really tired. I am not sure when I finally fell asleep with the mortars going off around me. At 1:30p.m. my ever so pleasant husband came saying loudly, "Gonna sleep all day?" Maybe. What's it to you? This is when I wished I lived alone.

Spouse gets up at 5a.m. naturally. He goes to bed by 10p.m. I never harp on him about that. Right now on Mondays and Wednesdays I get home at 10p.m. because of my nutrition class. He stays awake to say hi and then down he goes. I have no trouble with this because spouse is biologically programmed to be asleep by 10:30p.m. Why can't he accept that on weekends I tend to catch up on sleep I miss dring the week?

Sheep! It's sounds like some one is shooting a rifle outside. I know it's fireworks but damn, it's scary. I'd never make it on the housing projects. The noise skeers me.

I was up for about 4 hours today and then I fell asleep again. I just could not keep my eyes open. When I woke up I got a get enough sleep snotty comment. Seriously I should have said no because I'm still tired.

BBB left very early for Young Life camp. It's very quiet. I know he's going to have an awesome time with his nest friend and many of the kids he goes to school with (the nice ones). High school is still a terrible place. Kids are so mean to each other. The teachers have too many students and the counselors have no ideas who their kids are and they lack the knowledge needed to help the kids graduate to the new requirements. I know because I'm dealing with BBB's issues. If I hadn't jumped in his "counselor" would have left him in a 2 year math class even though he flunked the first semester rendering the entire two years invalid.

I don't remember graduation being so hard back in the stone age. Did I get straight A's? Hell no. I got a D or two because I was forced to move and change high schools in my junior year leaving me pissed, annoyed and enraged. It's so hard to fit in at a high school level but entering a southern cal hs in the middle of november in my junior year.........stunk. I made it worse with a bad attitude. They couldn't even match my classes. I got stuck in normal english! No honors. The HORROR! Everyone was tan and blond and to my imagined intellectual superiority they were pretty stupid. Yes, BBB IS my payback from my mother, karma and the Lord. I was 16, didn't the world revolve around me? Doesn't it still? Bwahahahah. I wish.

Why is it so difficult to communicate validly with my spouse? I can talk to anyone else. Why can't I just say what I'm thinking? Why does he get so defensive? Why doesn't he "hear" me?

My most common thought Why can't life and marriage be easy? I know, I'm such a dreamer. A fairly cynical dreamer, but a dreamer none the less.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Incredulous Disbelief

The screaming teenager, face twisted in hate and anger, can not be the baby I nurtured in my womb, gave birth to, breastfeed until 2.5 years, the boy I aored with my entire being.

Because my baby boy would never tell his mother to shut the fuck up in front of his gf and her friend.(He lost this week's allowance by the way).

What I really wanted to do was put him in his place. He is not the king. He needs to stop paying his dad against me. He needs to get a grip on reality.

Heeds to show me a modicum of respect and I am going after his dad who will stop undermining my authority unless he wants to be single. No more of that shit. The preferential treament has got to stop as well. There are two parents here and if we can't work together we will parent apart.

This kid needs to get semi-shaped up before I start nursing school.

I mean it(using evil mommy angry glare)