Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What's A Mom to Do?

In the past month things have gotten worse with my oldest. He lacks any sense of personal responsibility.

He ignores his dog. Or is impatient and kinda mean.

My spouse and I and the younger son make up with tons of love.

Oldest doesn't want to pay us anything except his car insurance and we're getting fed up with that.

I'm his dog sitter and he's not even thankful let alone offering to pay me.

I want to smack this kid up the head with a frying pan! But it wouldn't help.

He is so self-centered and entitles that anything that isn't to his direct benefit is of no interest to him.

AAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It is also getting to the rest of family.

How does one make him understand?

He only hears what he wants to hear.

This adult kids living at home thing...............not fun. Seriously.

I could not write this on my main blog so thanks for listening to me here.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR to my oldest.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Gut Feeling

I've had this stomach dropping feeling before.

When Brennan was slow developmentally I felt it.

When we were in Children's crash room the bottom of my stomach tried to reach the floor. I knew, in my mother's heart, that this would not end well. I knew deep deep down that Brennan would die. I was not being pessimistic. I was honoring my mothers instinct. Damn, I wanted to be wrong. I prayed to be wrong but I wasn't wrong. I was all too right.

Now with this younger son enlisting in the army during a war I am getting the same feeling. The icy cold stomach dropping feeling that bad things will happen.

Sure, I could be over reacting. I could be manifesting normal anxiety.......my gut tells me differently. In the past fews days I have this creeping suspicion my 19yo might not live to see 25.

He will be gone 18 weeks in training in the hell they call Fort Benning, GA. I have not been away from either of my kids for more than 10 days or so. Ever. He got into Airborne Infantry so he'll be jumping out of planes and helicopters in the middle of the night. Accidents have been known to happen.

My friend, please, PRETTY PLEASE pray my gut instinct is totally and completely wrong.

Please.