Tuesday, September 30, 2008


I don't know if I will be a good nurse. I sit here wondering if I can comfort others well. Some days I am reminded how many pieces my heart has been ripped into in the past 13 years. Will there be enough of my heart left over for others?

I just don't know.

I know that no matter how illogical it may be, I don't think I can ever stop wishing for a baby. It's so completely unrealistic and spouse would not be with the plan but my heart keeps saying baby.

It's been over 12 years since I found out I cannot have another baby. Why doesn't my heart want to accept this?

I can't work eith sick babies as a nurse because I know I would be overly emotionally involved. I could never stay professional. Hell, I don't know if I am capable of being professional with any age.

I pray God can help me know what is the right place for me in this world. Hell if I know.

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