Maybe.......

I was out on a walk this evening and I was thinking. I had read all about cholesterol in my nursing book about diseases. I scared myself big time. Damn. My parents both had issues and now I be screwed. If I had known....sigh.

My blood tests done a few weeks ago show very high triglycerides and total cholesterol. Insanely high triglycerides. The last time I was tested(maybe 10 years ago because I had no insurance for a very long time) it was borderline high at 235. They did not break it up into triglycerides(Berry bad), HDLs)good stuff and LDLs(low down dirty dogs as my nursing teacher calls them to remind us in nutrition). My HDLs is low, the other 2 are high. My arteries have been collecting all this nasty ass cholesterol my body mostly makes because of my genetics. I would have stopped eating fast food 10 years ago if someone had clued me in.

In the past year or so I have begun an aversion to most red meats. Never eat hamburgers, only flank steak cooked at home, leanly. I have also cut down on my consumption of fast food maybe 85% just because it started to gross me out. I watched my spouse eat 2 dinners tonight. The healthy baked chicken though he choose the dark meat. Then the disgusting dripping with grease garlic sticks from Little Caesar's. It almost made me nauseous knowing what butter and cheese and white bread can do to someone who doesn't exercise any restraint or any exercise.

I think maybe, just maybe God steered me towards nursing to save myself. Once I save my heart and my arteries and my exercise issues and this hyperlipidcholosterimia. My aunts had yellow blobs under their eyes caused by the excess cholesterol in the bodies and it was ugleeeeeeeeeeeee. I've been so grateful I don't have these xanthomas(yellow cysts, bumps) on my face. I did notice some skin changes on my lega that should go away as soon as I get my cholesterol under control.

If I hadn't been going into nursing, I might have gone into teaching history or something and maybe dropped dead at 55. My mom died at 64, her dad was in his 40's. My dad's parents lived into their 80's but with major health problems. By going into nursing God is forcing me to care of myself. He's sneaky that way sometimes.

Then I can help others. In whatever plans He has for me. I do believe he has plans for me in medicine. I have no idea except the LPN thing.

As angry I have been at God in the past 46 years I have my heart telling me He's sending me where I belong. Doing His work somewhere, some how. Whether my spouse is on board or not is only for God to know at this point.

I found out this weekend is that Riley is proud of his mother and thinks I can go as far in medicine as I want to. Probably the shining moment of my weekend. I have an ally. I need to work on him destressing a bit. One step at a time.










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