The stress is getting to me.
Now I'm off of all antidepressants and other associated meds, I feel more.
Today I felt grief.
I sat next to a woman with a 3 month old baby. The baby's eyes were the exact color of Brennan's eyes. The boy who never had a chance.
They were also similar to my 19 year old's eyes. The boy who's joined the army.
My eyes welled up and I had to leave the room so I didn't interrupt the lecture.
I could not help crying. Damn, I hate when that happens.
Then my spouse is being a bigger moron than normal.
My wonderful 19 year old just told me he's an atheist. He was mocking me. Shut the F up brat. I'm not in the mood.
My sense of humor had left the building for today.
I miss the boy who never had a chance.
I miss the boy the 19 year old used to be.
I miss the me who saw the future as bright and exciting. The me who loved her husband. The me who my husband loved.
I know the past is the past. I accept that.
Could someone please tell my tear ducts to shut the hell off?????