Monday, November 23, 2009

The Darkness is Here

My husband has been unemployed for almost a year. I cannot find a nursing job.

We both sit here day after day looking for new internet job listings as I slowly die inside. I have never been so bored in my life. I am on one of my lowest levels of discouragment as well.

I don't see any way out of financial poverty. We rent the house. All savings are spent.

All I can see is the spiraling downward into a bottomless pit. How will we get out?

I think I'd rather be in the pit alone as spouse and I have nothing in common and view the world from different corners.

I listen to his comments and wonder what the f was I thinking?

I wasn't thinking. That was the problem. We don't mesh at all about anything any longer.

How do I suck it up?

Where do I find a job when the unemployment rate is 17%?

I have not worked for money in 20 years.

I have no clue.

I used to pray and believe God would save the day but lately I cannot have faith in that.

I know there are folks way worse off.

I'm weary and my face has broken out in zits and eczema so I look like a 15yo with graying hair.

Where do I go from here without jumping off a cliff???


Snowbrush said...

You posted this in November and haven't posted any updates! My god but you know how to leave your readers in the lurch! I SO hope you are finding life more to your liking. I wish I could help. For what it's worth, my best wishes are all yours and your husband's.

Snowbrush said...

Ah, ha, Crazed Mom, it's YOU. You own this blog too. Well, as least I have more recent news.