Random Thoughts

I adore HGTV and flip shows.

If I could marry one of the Property Brothers, preferably Jonathon, I would.

I have all kinds of awesome designs ideas but no budget plus I live in a rental.  Sigh.

I am slightly addicted.

If I ever won the lotto I would buy myself a home on Nantucket.

I adore the simple shingle houses with the classic architecture.

The wood floor, the wood ceilings, the art wood walls are glorious.

I love the idea of living on an island.

I miss the Atlantic.  Which I haven't seen in 30 some odd years.

I miss the East Coast.

I may have it build up unrealistically in my mind but I'd like the opportunity to find out.

I want Joanna Gaines and Jonathon Scott to decorate my 4500 sq foot house on Nantucket.

My only requirements~lots of teal/oceany colors and comfortable furniture from sectionals to beds to window seats.

Oh and indoor and outdoor fireplaces.  Top of the line appliances.  A/C is a must because I haven't lived in humidity since I was 16 years old.  Us old folks like to be comfortable.

It's freakin' Nantucket!  One MUST have window seats to read on and to dream about anything and everything.

I'd need art quality quilts on every bed and more just to cuddle up with.

All beach casual because this girl does not do formal.

Day dreaming makes my life bearable some days, because I am working/sleeping most of the time.

Feeling Like Crud

Nothing messes with sleep more than mucus sliding down your throat all night.

Nothing messes with your sleep more than drooling because you're freaking stuffed up.

Nothing messes with your sleep more than that gagging in the middle of the night that leaves your heart rate at 125 bpm and you gasping for air.

Nothing messes with your sleep more than the dull ache in your sinuses slowly seeping into your consciousness enough to awaken you.

Lord, please make this an anomaly.

Help me feel all well by tomorrow at the latest.

I know that's asking a lot but I just don't have the luxury of being sick at this time.

Breaking My Heart

My son can't wait to get back to basic training.

On one hand, I'm thrilled he's doing so well and feels he made the right choice to enlist.

On the other hand, is it so terrible that he has to run to the military?

He's running towards war.  Certain war.

What the freak is wrong with him?

How did I raise someone who wants to kill?

How does this fit into his Christian upbringing?

Was I wrong to not allow even toy guns into my house?

Was I wrong to teach him to turn the other cheek?

How did I raise someone (actually two someones) who callously break their mother's heart, hurt her very soul and then don't even realize what they're doing?

WTF?

All those years I poured into creating them, raising them, supporting everything they did......what was that for?  What the hell was that for?

DYJHIW?

Don't you just hate it when...morons merge onto the freeway at 45 miles an hour?  The speed limit is 60, that's six-oh not four-five!!!

DYJHIW...your teenager is still very much a teenager? (It's incredible how very stupid I am.)

DYJHIW...your anole dies?

DYJHIW...nothing is really any fun anymore?

DYJHIW...you know getting up at 5:30a.m. is less that 12 hours away?

DYJHIW...sunset is so early it feels like you only had half a day?

DYJHIW...you're forced to listen to Christmas music at work and the speaker is right above your head? (If I had a shotgun that speaker'd be shredded.)

DYJHIW...you're not getting enough sleep?

What do you hate?

Pretty Much A Rant

After working 2 days of 15/16 hour shifts with no lunch breaks and walking into a smelly, not cleaned up house tonight kinda irked me.

When I discovered there wasn't any beer left from a 12 pack I bought a little over a week ago I became peeved. I had not had any one of the 12 bottles of beer. Gee, I wonder who's been sucking it all down on the sly?

The "I just got home and I don't know!" attitude I got from the army boy just pissed me off.

Older son was already in bed asleep without his dog.

Then my spouse asked me if I had a day off tomorrow and I said, not really I'm just not getting paid, I got a "look". I have to shop for the Christmas dinner ingredients, pick up several necessities, get dryer sheets, find stocking stuffers, go get my paycheck, yadda yadda yadda, well, frankly that is NOT a day off.

I think men suck at this very moment. Maybe only men in my household but whatever.

Simone de Beauvoir was completely correct when she wrote "The Second Shift". A woman's work never truly ends until death.

Happy Anniversary

Been married 24 years today.

Why? I don't really know.

I have come to realize that if I don't care of myself no one else will.

That's just the sad fact.

14 hours at work, the perfect anniversary celebration.

Talk About Mixed Emotions

He's home.

Still very much a 19 year old, yet~not.

Strung out because he's been awake 40 hours. Hyper just like when he was a toddler.

Keeps spewing odd stories.

Way too "boys club" for me to fully appreciate I'm sure.

I'm not sure how to feel.

I'll have to get over that. He's in the US Army for four more years plus 2 months.

Oh my.

Who the HELL gave him permission to grow up and leave?